Take Me Out

I dig my feet into the ground
Somehow you make me wanna fly
Not doing much
Just standing here
Waiting
Smelling the hot dogs

Build it
They will come and they will clap
They will cheer and they will boo
They will come back tomorrow
Because they love you

True
You're very slow
But so often you show us
Something we've never seen before
You give birth to heroes
And the holiest of cows
Everyday records are broken
Legends are made
Stories are told
And dreams come true

After nine of not doing much
They'll pack up and leave
"You looked good out there kid
We'll get'em next year"

And when they're all gone
I'll walk across your emerald dress
Think about the flies
And slide in your sweet sand

Brown white and green
Ugliest diamond I've ever seen
Biggest one I've ever known
Only one I'll ever need

Not Anymore and Never Again

To be or not to be?

That was the question.

But not anymore

and never again.



To be what I want,

what they want,

or what God wants?



To build my house from straw?

Or sticks?
Or Bricks?



But is that really a choice?

Would anyone choose a Gateway over a Dell?

A Pinto over a Viper?

Dirt over diamonds?



Oh the salesmen sow the seeds

sing such sweets to sell what sucks.

And many buy it.



What will I?

Seek the pleasures of this world?

Or reap the joys of the next?



Can the greatest thing in this world

compare to the leaste of God?



The choice is simple,

the task is not

impossible.



The valley is dark

danger is all around

but I am not alone

not anymore

and never again.



He is my refuge and steangth,

a very present help in trouble.

The only question is

Do I believe Him?

Do I trust Him?

Would I go into the deep

depending only on Him?

Will I choose His strength

over my comfort?

Can I act

without all the answers?



The only difference between

a man who has all the answers

and the man who trusts God

is that I could spend a lifetime trying to be one

or I could choose to be the other right now.



To be or not to be?

That was the question.

But not anymore 

and never again.

It is There

I zipped up after a number 1. I turned and approached the bathroom door. I reached down to grip the nob, never looking down. I never look down. I turn the lock to release the door, because the door is locked. I always locked the door. I grip the nob and begin to turn it. It gives two millimeters before it stops.

The door is locked. The door is obviously locked. I must have forgotten to lock it on my way in. I must have locked myself in when I thought I was unlocking the door. Obviously I must unlock the door and try again.

There it is. It is ridiculous, but it is there. As real as anything else in this tiny bathroom. It is there. The idea.

Did I really forget to lock the door? Did I really lock myself in? Is this how it starts? Is the world still out there? Am I still in it? What if after I turn that lock again, as I have done hundreds of times before, the door is still sealed shut?

Like I said, it is ridiculous, but it is there. It is very, very there. It is bubbling inside me, there. It is wrapping itself around me, there. It is driving into me, impaling me, relentlessly and agonizingly, there.

The dreaded choice: Do I try? After I turn this lock, one of two things is going to happen:
1.The door opens, I get out of the bathroom, I realize the world is still there, that I am still in it, that I am still alive, and then I have a big laugh about the silly thought that I had just a second ago; or
2. the door stays closed, the ridiculous idea is now an undeniable fact as the room grows darker, smaller, colder, emptier, the rest of which I would rather not think about.

This is stupid. Just unlock the door. But it is still there.

My left had reaches down again to turn the lock. But my right hand presses flush against the door, looking for some sign of life on the other side. Finding nothing, I press my face to the door. I need some sort of confirmation, some hint that there is still an out there out there.

I will endure it no more. I turn the lock, the nob, the door, and myself. I step outside to trust my angels and face my demons.